This was on a sophomore girl’s facebook wall from her boyfriend of like two-three weeks. “Truth is I don’t no we’re to begin. I think about you more than I should I thought we were golden.but I guess not…. I havnt picked up my guitar in 3 months and when you came to mind I havnt stopped playing… I guess when you rush into things like we did they end fast. And...
My day might have been bad (and still is)
but my best friend’s is worse. And that just reminds me that life could be worse. I should take things as they come and remember how lucky I am. Even if it might be hard sometimes.
I was doing so well. I was excited for classes. I was excited to stay organized, but now I’m tearing up because of stress. My scholarship is weighing me down by making me add a class and pay for a book I can’t afford instead of the typical roundtable discussions we had. I need money for next year’s apartment. I need money for my study abroad application. I need money for books. I...
Conversation with the parental units:
Me: My scholarship is forcing me to take a class and get one credit instead of two.
Mom: What class is it and will it affect you in any way?
Me: A stupid diversity class, and I'll just have to pay for it.
Mom: Your dad said he took that class. He says, don't say the N word, don't use the word Jew. It helps you become a better rounded person, especially in this alternative lifestyle. He said have fun with it. You'll become more like him.
First day of classes.
Sophomore year started of swimmingly. In Spanish lit, my teacher made us sing along to a Spanish song to practice. It’s a bit overwhelming due to the majority of majors in that class, but my minor is almost finished. SCORE. In anthropology, I sit by some awesome friends. And we don’t really have class on Friday. Cool. As for journalism, I know about everyone. I love it. So now I...
saying good-bye to my Mima. She lives down the hill from me, and I hate leaving her. I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out because I couldn’t let go for twenty minutes. She always says that she’ll here God willing. She always says that this might be the last time I’ll see her. And I hate thinking that way. I want her to be here for years. I want her to be at my wedding. I...
Crossing a life goal off of my bucket list feels really good. With a list of 179 and counting, it’s hard to believe that I’ll have a chance to finish them. Some might not ever happen. Some can’t happen until I’m older. Some can’t happen unless I make them happen. Some need luck to happen. Some are really meaningful, and others are really stupid. But this my life goals...
Anonymous asked: Be still and listen. You are amazing and beautiful with a bright future ahead of you. Dreams placed in your heart + mind are not conjured up by yourself but are placed by God. He hears you when you're irate, elated, lost, confused. He has given you a great heart and amazing dreams, do not be afraid that you won't reach them, but be ready to receive them, but you have to listen to him, as...
All my life
I’ve been good at running away: running from people that could hurt me, running from people that are too “cool,” running from love before it finds me, running from roller coasters and scary movies, running from tense situations, running from acting before auditions. I’ve been good at running away because of fear. Fear dictates my life. It always has. I stopped playing...
“Take my moments and my days. Let each...
I don't get it.
I don’t get how someone can hurt someone they say they care about. I don’t understand how lies are supposed to help a relationship. I don’t think dangling someone around is how it’s supposed to work. There’s a difference between a tough time you work through and a game you give up. There’s a difference between loving someone and loving the idea of them....
It's one of those nights
where I wish my future was already here so I didn’t have to think about it. I get all nervous because I know what I want. I see where I want to be. But I’m here. And I’m scared that I can’t make it there. That I won’t make it there. I just wish I knew. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to worry so much.
Stuck on you.
It’s funny how seeing one person can make them stick in your mind for quite some time after the initial meeting. You create what if scenarios in your head. You wonder if they ever think of you. Probably not, right? Definitely not. But I still remember Michael. He’ll be a senior this year. He was the first boy to talk to me at the very first party I ever went to. I didn’t drink,...
I’ve been recently annoyed with some people. And it’s not like I don’t like them, I just don’t like this thing they do. They do anything and everything to make themselves look good, but they don’t focus on what makes them happy. It’s always “this will look good on my resume.” And that’s great! A resume is going to get you that job. But I also...
My life is so pathetic. I have literally watched the same ten second scene over and over and over again for the past hour because the events make me happy because love happens like it is supposed to on A TV SHOW. It’s not even real love. It’s a TV show. And I am thrilled. For them. The fake couple. As I sit. In my bed. Alone. Literally not another person awake in my home. ...
I love being able to search my newest addiction on Tumblr and see a bunch of people freaking out like me. I don’t feel so alone. And I wish I had DVR. I’d like to replay my favorite part over and over and over and over and over. It’s not fair that I have to wait. Sigh. Happiness is definitely the little things. Kidding. IT’S ALREADY ONLINE. HOLY SMOKES. ...
A good guy- is that so hard to ask for? You know, a guy who wants to better himself and the world. A guy who loves his momma and wants to love and respect a girl to make his momma proud. A guy who doesn’t care what others think of him. A guy with good old-fashioned values who’d ask my parents for my hand when the time came. A guy who has faith to help me with mine. A guy driven in his...
Fate. Destiny. God's will. Call it what you want.
Summer: Well, you know, I guess it’s ‘cause I was sitting in a deli and reading Dorian Gray and a guy comes up to me and asks me about it and… now he’s my husband. Tom: Yeah. And… so? Summer: So, what if I’d gone to the movies? What if I had gone somewhere else for lunch? What if I’d gotten there 10 minutes later? It was - it was meant to be. And…...
There is a lot of planning and sorting going on in my mind right now. Schedules. Interviews. Applications. Money. Scholarships. Writing. Organizing. Cleaning. Meetings. Errands. Friends. Plans. I can’t sort through everything. I misplace thoughts. I forget what I was supposed to be doing. I get distracted. I complete something halfway before having to leave. I’m a bit of a mess. This I...
Anonymous asked: Just read that horrible comment from that anon. You're writing is just fine. Maybe a typo or grammar mistake once every ten posts, but the way you write is very fun to read and you have very interesting points. You have a great voice in your writing and that should be the main focus. :) Keep it up!
Anonymous asked: Hey jell! So you'll know who this is. This is something I struggle with all the time, and part of the reason why I do work hard at dance, but I don't make it my entire life. If I die tomorrow and got a chance to look back, would I want my life to just be a series of technique classes and working out? Nope. So I do what I love, but I also indulge my other interests too. I love that you...
In the face of certain death.
Imagine facing certain death. What would you do? Who would be your final good-bye? What regrets would you still have? When I went to the air force museum in Ohio a few years ago, I purchased this book called Flyboys because I love to read. I let my mom read it and forgot I owned it until this month. I instantly picked it up and began reading. I can’t say I’ve ever cried at a book the...
floe239 asked: Whoever is messing with Jeli, shut the hell up. She is amazing. She will always be amazing. And her writing is up to her judgement and her judgement only.
Anonymous asked: Every time I read something you write, I get sad. Filled with sadness. Because you think its good. And it isn't.
Freedom doesn’t come cheap. Everything we have (and are able to do) in the US is a right we’ve fought for. People have died (and still die) to keep us running as a country. Sometimes the best choices aren’t made and sometimes people die in vain, but no matter what, they do it for us. And when I think about what people have done for us, my heart hurts. It hurts because I look...
It's late at night
when memories rush in like the tide. It’s always late when you’re being swept away and taken to islands you wish didn’t exist. It’s always late when you wish things were different. It’s always late when you realize you can’t change what has already happened. That empty, hollow feeling enters your stomach. You don’t know if it’s hunger or emptiness....