I’m socially inept in certain situations. I guess that certain situation can be best described as a college party. Since I don’t drink, I’m not entertained by some drunk person trying to dance with me, nor am I entertained by random hook-ups happening around me. It’s not that I don’t have fun, it’s just that I need to make sure my friends are around me at all times. Take for instance, Saturday. My friend and I were dancing together and hanging out when she turned away for a second to talk to her boyfriend. I stayed by the wall when some guy came up to me and asked me a question. I didn’t hear him very well, so I just said no and assumed he’d go away. He then asked me my name and told me his. I don’t even remember his name because I just wanted him to get away. He asked if I wanted to dance, and I said no, because I don’t dance. He asked if I just jumped around, and I said yes. He then stood by me until I walked away from him. I didn’t know what else to do. Put me in a crowd and tell me to get quotes, and I can talk to anyone. Throw me in a party and have some dude ask me to dance, and I get out fast. I guess it all depends on the guy, because one guy was particularly nice to me a few months back. He and I just sat and talked about music and school and life, and he told me it was awesome that I didn’t drink. I like those people. They’re cool.
I am this girl.
My lips get chapped because I lick them when I talk.
I bite my nails and twirl my hair when I’m nervous.
I tend to talk faster than the normal person.
I’m too short to reach the top shelf, so you’ll have to lift me up.
I’m addicted to music, and you will have to listen to my constant singing…even when I am in bed with a cold and sound absolutely dreadful.
I cry when I laugh too much.
I’m not afraid to state my opinions or fight with you.
I’m too ticklish.
I am a grammar Nazi and will correct you when you speak, when you write, and when you text.
You have to deal with my vocabulary usage of swell, dapper, and for realzies.
If you wear skinny ties, cardigans, or suspenders, you will have won my heart.
I like philosophical and deep conversations about the world and faith.
Reading is a passion in which I spend a lot of my time.
I’m indecisive and have a beauty complex with myself.
I dream too much for my own good.
I care about others more than myself.
I want to travel the world.
My faith is super important to me.
I want to swing dance to Frank Sinatra.
I want to dance in the rain with no music.
I want to dream under the stars.
I want to fall in love with everything about you and be loved just as strongly.
I may get things wrong.
I might say the wrong things.
But when I love you, I mean it.
Forever and always.
Whoever thought letting me watch Dirty Dancing before bed was an idiot. Oh wait, that was my idea. So that in turn makes me the idiot. And that makes a lot of sense. Now, here I sit, alone in my dorm room with my laptop on my lap (but of course), my back against the wall, apple juice by my side, sunflower kernels in my mouth, my homework waiting to be completed, and what am I doing? I’m moping. I’m moping about this sad existence. I’m moping about the fact that the most interesting thing that happened to me today was freaking out about the Giants win (or maybe it was the walk to church). Regardless, it wasn’t all that interesting…..but it did make me very happy (both of those events). But really, the big reason for this mope session is that my life is not like a movie, and this really bothers me. It really shouldn’t but it does. I want to be able to read a script and find out what is going to happen to me next. I want to be able to know that my hurt will go away. I want to know that my mistakes will be forgotten. I want to know that I won’t be alone. I want somebody to tell me that I don’t belong in a corner. I want someone to teach me how to dance and fall in love with me. I want to know that I can succeed. I want to experience “movie syndrome.” I just made this up— I think. What this is, is the movie life. I want to know that the guy I fall for is going to love me back, and even though bad things may happen, and we may have to separate for a while, he will always come back because it’s meant to be, and we’ll live happily ever after. Alas, my life is not a movie, and I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea. I suppose that’s fine. My story is still being written, and my film is still being filmed, so we’ll see where this crazy life takes me. This is my starring role. And cut.